Wednesday, April 13, 2011
So, this morning Cruz decides to be crazy. Not unlike many other mornings, but for some reason, it was harder for me to handle today. Maybe it's because I haven't gotten a full nights sleep in a month. Or because my mind is running ten million miles a minute, thinking of how in the world I'm going to finish 7 papers in two weeks. Or because I haven't cleaned my house in two weeks (which is a huge deal to me), due to all of my free (non-Cruz time) being devoted to writing 15 stupid papers. Or because last night I realized how stressed my husband has been and that I've actually been increasing that instead of helping him out. Or because I had to clean out the nastiest cloth diaper I'd ever seen come out of my poor child, or any other child for that matter...I was definitely wishing this morning we used disposable diapers. Or the fact that we are leaving on Saturday to probably find out exactly where and when we'll be heading to Africa - so huge! Or because I've been eating terrible because all my little baby inside of me wants to eat is Doritos and Big Macs...and the occasional strawberry. Or because this morning Cruz again decides to wake up at 6 am as opposed to his used to be normal 7:30. However, as I was driving to Chickfila at 6:30 this morning - one to get out of the house and prevent a whiny baby (I'm not quite sure why he keeps insisting on waking up at 6, because he hates his life for the first hour) and two to satisfy baby number two who really wanted hash browns and a Dr. Pepper - I realized just how worth it mornings and weeks and months like we've had recently are. I was driving along the interstate, watching the sun rise and listening to my baby boy chatter away in the back (point me for using the trip as a distraction today), listening to praise music. I understood at that moment Jesus wanted me to seek out His company, for just a moment, today. He always wants me to seek Him out, but lately I've been distracted by the crazy poo, a crazy boy who doesn't like to sleep, but mainly my own agenda and selfishness. He used Cruz's crazy schedule, my hormones and lack of sleep, and even my frustration to get me again to a point of surrender and stillness. All I could do while driving the car was be still and listen to the word spoken through song. And it was worth it. All we need sometimes is a little perspective. And a lot of Jesus.