A few things I've learned these past few months...

First of all, WOW, I haven't updated in a really long time! Sorry about that to the few people who do read this and care about whats going on in our lives:) We've had a super busy, hectic summer and fall filled with so many activities and first I couldn't do them all justice if I tried to write them all down here...I finally feel as though I'm starting to catch my breath, so I thought I'd try to update the blog. Plus, both kids are sleeping (silmultaneous sleep = rare occurance) and the dishes/laundry is actually done so now seems like a perfect time:)

Here's a short list of a few important events that have happened in our lives recently:

1. Javan made his entrance into the world on October 12, and we have been super blessed/busy ever since. Having two babies (I've recently learned the term, because so many people make comments about our boys haha, "Irish twins"...and honestly y'all, it does feel like I had twins!) We had another great birth experience and I have loved having him out in the world and no longer in my belly:)

2. We started our partnership-making/support raising for Africa a couple of months ago...God is definitely working there, and Adam and I are getting a lesson in patience (again) and keeping the faith! We're excited to see how the Lord moves over the next year or so!

OK, now back to what I have learned the last few months:

1. I have the most incredible, considerate, hardworking, amazing husband ever created. I know most ladies reading this would like to argue with me and put their man in the running, but really, Adam Willard is the best around. I thought I knew this before, but the last few weeks have reminded me and I relearned this fact:) After Javan was born, each day was a battle and I really had to fight to make it through - I was convinced for awhile I wasn't going to survive. Literally. Through it all, all my tears and craziness and the boys adjusting (Cruz to a new baby and Javan to life in general), Adam remained calm and steady and was exactly the anchor I needed, although I'm sure inside he was ready to kill me most days.
2. Every thing with a newborn is a stage. One of the positives to having kids so close together is how easy it is to remember things Cruz went through, and while your first kid is dealing with something it seems like forever and as though it'll never end (e.g. sleep training)...once the second kid comes along, it's easier to deal with the rough spots because you realize it really didn't last that long with the first one and everyone is still alive!
3. Community is important. Oh man. For those of you that know me, this is a tough one. I pride (this word = first mistake) myself on being independent and strong, and our recent situation has humbled me in more ways than one. I need people, I need help - and I've had to learn to ask for that the last few weeks and at first it just about killed me. Adam again reminded me we weren't created to do anything on our own...Americans (for the most part) have it wrong. Moving somewhere where we know no one and our New Orleans family was stripped away from us really hit us hard, harder than I ever imagined. We're learning to lean on family and starting to make new friends...community is what it's all about - we need each other! Thank God we both have amazing families who are there for us no matter how crazy I act:)
4. My expectations are always too high. Goals are awesome, performing well is excellent, results are even good but being so stressed out its difficult to function because things aren't happening as you imagined they would is not healthy. I never imagined I would fall in this category, but lately thats how I've lived - stressed to the max, feeling so much pressure to perform or get my family to perform as I believe they "should". I'm slowly relaxing my expectations and ideas...it's harder than I thought.
5. Stop and enjoy the little moments. Yes, it may be frustrating that Javan has a milk allergy like Cruz did, but he has smiled so much since we changed him to formula and I enjoy those smiles! Or I might really really be craving sleep, but I need to enjoy the time I get to spend holding my little ones or watching a movie with my husband instead of catching a few minutes of sleep. Yes life is crazy and most days I feel certifiably insane, but I wouldn't change a thing or trade even the worst moments for anything.

Our world has changed so much recently, but this was a small peek into the Willard World:)

Thank you, NOLA.

Thank you New Orleans. Thank you for the past four years and all we have learned and gained from your city and your people. Thank you for the good times, the hard times, all the laughter and a few tears. Thank you for your resilience and culture and amazing spirit. Thank you for one of the best experiences of our life and some of our most cherished memories. And most definitely, thank you for your amazing food - our taste buds will never be the same.

I forgot the token picture in the last post!

Here's a couple of pictures to show you how much Cruz loved New York:)

This is only the beginning, even if it feels like the end.

*Before I begin, I'll warn you this is most likely going to be a long post...so if you're interested, I'd love to tell you our latest story, but grab some coffee and make yourself comfortable for a little while:)

It's been a week and a half since we got back from New York, and I intended to write this post as soon as we returned so we can keep everyone updated. However, like usual, life took over and between an energetic baby boy, finishing up papers and finding time to breathe, this morning was the first chance I had to sit down and put our latest adventure into words...plus, to be honest, our heads have just stopped spinning and I wasn't sure exactly how to write about everything we were feeling before now.


First of all, New York was AMAZING. I can't even begin to tell y'all how God has answered all of our prayers through AIM (the organization we'll be serving overseas with)...we felt as though we were around family all week, and it was just awesome to be able to hang out, worship, and explore/question/freak out/become super exicted with a bunch of people who have the same desires (to serve in Africa) as Adam and I. AIM is definitely on their game - everyone we met who works there was not only kind, open, and totally interested in hearing our hearts and helping send us where the Lord wants us to be, but they also know what they're doing! They're so organized and on top of the whole process, we were so well taken care of that week, and I know we'll be taken care of on the field, which is such a relief...we are not alone, they are serving right alongside our family, whether it's on the soil of Africa or here in the States. And just let me say this - Cruz was in heaven all week! As usual, he was the hit of the party and knew it...he spent most of his days in the nursery hanging out with some great older kids who took him under their wing and showed him tons of love. He didn't really sleep that well in the new place, but did awesome during the day...he loved it too!

So we spent the whole week, from about 8:30 am - at least 6 pm each day attending different orientation classes...we talked about health and wellness on the field, raising support, what it means to have an African perspective, how to leave and grief, etc. Needless to say, while each session was really informative and excellent in it's own way, we were on information overload by the time Saturday rolled around haha...it was a good thing though, definitely a good thing. During the week we learned a lot about Africa, different opportunities to serve overseas, and ourselves. I'm not sure we've processed everything we felt and experienced during that week yet, but we are slowly...At first we were disappointed with the timing of actually GOING to Africa, but we realize now the year and a half we'll still be in the States will actually be a blessing for us, if only to become more emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically prepared.

I'll spare y'all the details of all the sessions, but long story short, we were officially appointed as full term missions with AIM! yay! So, now we're not just candidates, we're appointees:) And when we set foot in Africa, we'll officially be missionaries lol. I laugh because we're all already missionaries, wherever we are...anyway. The long awaited news: we also found out where we'll head in January 2013. That's right, that's the date: January 2013. So we have a year and a half in the States to raise support and be with friends and family before we leave. When we went to New York, we were expecting to serve in a different area of Africa than we feel called at first, because we feel the Lord has asked us to work in areas affected by civil war, and specifically those affected by the LRA, Lord's Resistance Army. We have a strong desire to work with both former child soldiers as well as recovering communities and work on community transformation and rehabilitation in different ways. I'll post more about this later...

We found the perfect area and job for what we feel like the Lord wants us to do, but we were told at first we wouldn't be able to work in an area directly affected by the wars right away because the government closed an airstrip, which was our only way into the country at the time...so we decided we wouldn't let that hold us back, we would serve in a different country doing something a little different, so we could still be in Africa, and travel to a different place as soon as it was safer and the government opened the area back up. However, when we got to New York, we found out we actually could go where we wanted right away - I'll spare you the details of that too, we're not exactly sure how the mix up happened, but it doesn't matter - the Lord made a way for us to get right in where He wants us. So, after January 2013, we'll make our way to Central African Republic to most likely serve in the city of Zemio. There is a small catch, which I didn't expect, but it'll also be good - we have to go to France first, for about 11 months for language school. That's right, the official language of the country is French. We'll also learn the tribal language when we get there, but they encourage us to know French as well...I think it's a good idea, I'm a fan of being able to at least attempt to communicate with people:)

The area we'll be working in is a little more remote than we imagined at first, but the more we think about it and pray about it, the more excited we are. What we heard in the beginning is true, the only way in and out of our city is by airstrip, so every once in awhile we have to take a plane to get supplies and some rest...because of the remoteness of the area and probably the stress of the situation, we'll be encouraged to take a break about every two months and get out of the city for a few days. Zemio is currently a large station for refugees fleeing from the war, so there is so much opportunity to love on people and share Christ with them. We're not exactly sure what our "jobs" will look like, but we are so excited to see what the Lord will do.


One of our major concerns about serving in such a remote area was being alone - personally, I know that would not be very beneficial for me, especially at first...if the Lord calls me to it, I know He would get me through it, but I was really praying for some companionship. And again, of course, He answered. We'll actually be serving with an awesome couple we met at Candidate Week, who we think we'll work really well with and are so excited to get to know better. They have a little girl about four months older than Cruz, and they're pregnant with their second child too, who will be about three months older than our second baby:) Cruz will have a built in girlfriend lol...or just some close buddies he and his brother or sister can grow up with! The Lord definitely answered some major prayers that week, we were starting to get worried we would leave without having any better idea of what we were doing or where we would go...we had our last meeting Friday night around 8:30 pm (we left Saturday morning at 6 am) and finalized (semi-officially) most of the details you read here.


We got back to New Orleans in such high spirits and so excited about what God was doing in our lives. The timing kind of threw us off as I mentioned before, we would jump on a plane tomorrow if we could, but we realize the time to prepare will be well worth it and this is one thing we don't need to jump blindly into. Then we had some big decisions to make here as well...we graduate in a week and a half and didn't know what we were going to do - where we were going to live, what job Adam was going to get, etc. We feel like God has given us this year before we go overseas not only to raise support but also to spend time with family and friends, because I think it will be harder on them than it will be on us when we actually leave the country. So, we made the tough decision to go ahead and move to North Carolina after graduation, when we'd have the help of our families for moving and Cruz:) Adam is still looking for a full time job, but we know the Lord will provide...leaving is bittersweet and every day it gets closer I get a little more sad. But, as the title says, even though this feels like the end, it's only the beginning. I'll definitely be posting more about New Orleans and our experience in the next few days...

An Epic Morning. And Week. And Month.

So, this morning Cruz decides to be crazy. Not unlike many other mornings, but for some reason, it was harder for me to handle today. Maybe it's because I haven't gotten a full nights sleep in a month. Or because my mind is running ten million miles a minute, thinking of how in the world I'm going to finish 7 papers in two weeks. Or because I haven't cleaned my house in two weeks (which is a huge deal to me), due to all of my free (non-Cruz time) being devoted to writing 15 stupid papers. Or because last night I realized how stressed my husband has been and that I've actually been increasing that instead of helping him out. Or because I had to clean out the nastiest cloth diaper I'd ever seen come out of my poor child, or any other child for that matter...I was definitely wishing this morning we used disposable diapers. Or the fact that we are leaving on Saturday to probably find out exactly where and when we'll be heading to Africa - so huge! Or because I've been eating terrible because all my little baby inside of me wants to eat is Doritos and Big Macs...and the occasional strawberry. Or because this morning Cruz again decides to wake up at 6 am as opposed to his used to be normal 7:30. However, as I was driving to Chickfila at 6:30 this morning - one to get out of the house and prevent a whiny baby (I'm not quite sure why he keeps insisting on waking up at 6, because he hates his life for the first hour) and two to satisfy baby number two who really wanted hash browns and a Dr. Pepper - I realized just how worth it mornings and weeks and months like we've had recently are. I was driving along the interstate, watching the sun rise and listening to my baby boy chatter away in the back (point me for using the trip as a distraction today), listening to praise music. I understood at that moment Jesus wanted me to seek out His company, for just a moment, today. He always wants me to seek Him out, but lately I've been distracted by the crazy poo, a crazy boy who doesn't like to sleep, but mainly my own agenda and selfishness. He used Cruz's crazy schedule, my hormones and lack of sleep, and even my frustration to get me again to a point of surrender and stillness. All I could do while driving the car was be still and listen to the word spoken through song. And it was worth it. All we need sometimes is a little perspective. And a lot of Jesus.

March 31, 2007

...was one of the best days of my life! On Saturday March 31, 2007, I married my best friend and have been trying to figure out how I can possibly love him more and more everyday...but it happens! I remember telling one of my friends who was getting married after me what marriage was like and describing it as getting to have a sleepover every night with your bff, and thats really how I felt then and still feel now...don't get me wrong, some nights our sleepovers are not as fun and for those of you who know us, know we argue as excellent as we love:) BUT, when the day is done, I know I have a husband who loves me, loves the Lord, and loves our son and would do anything for us.

We were talking the other night about our marriage, things we loved and things we needed to work on (always a good idea, theres nothing wrong with a little evaluation! :)) and we were both just in awe of where we are now....what we've been through the past four years, all of the changes and ups and downs, the adventures we've been on and the dreams we've seen realized...and let go. We've had a crazy, amazing, incredible ride - in four years we: got MARRIED, moved down to New Orleans, started grad school, went to Israel, both started two jobs (several different times lol), met lifelong friends, went to Africa, started the application process for a mission organization, ended the application with a mission organization. searched FOREVER for the right mission organization, finally applied with the right mission organization:), saw many friends move all across the country, had a BABY, and the list goes on and on....

I love our life, and even amidst the hard times, I wouldn't trade it for anything...God made Adam just right for me, and gave me His precious gift just at the right time. He is the best man, husband, and father I have ever known, and I can't WAIT to see what the next 79 years have for us:)

...and yes, I posted this a day early because tomorrow is our anniversary so I'll be busy:)

Willard, party of FOUR, your table is ready...

Will we ever get used to hearing those words?? I think not. At least not anytime soon. I guess right now we would just hear, "Two adults and two highchairs?" That's right, TWO highchairs. It's official, Adam and I went to the doctor on Thursday and baby number two is due October 16, 2011! The baby is healthy, I'm healthy, and we made sure there was only one heartbeat in there - Adam was convinced for a little while we were having twins...after all, God does have a sense of humor. But, only one little precious baby playin away for a few more months in my belly! We are super excited and very blessed...to be honest, I keep waiting to feel overwhelmed or upset or scared to death, but so far it hasn't happened. Every once in awhile when Cruz is super hyper and jumping all over the place, I wonder what exactly we got ourselves in to, but even then all I can do is laugh at our sweet bubbly boy and imagine our crazy life in about 7 months. Just to clarify, I'm sure a lot of you are wondering, we weren't planning to be pregnant again this early, but sometimes God has other plans...we were actually about to start the process to adopt a child domestically, or begin planning have another baby by next spring, but our baby didn't want to wait that long - he or she was determined to meet us before all the holiday madness this year:) And another question we've been getting often since we started to broadcast the news - our plans for Africa haven't changed. We figure until we hear otherwise from the Lord, He wants us to follow His originial plan. He gave us another baby, and He is more than able to give us the strength and wisdom to move continents with two little babies:) And Cruz is definitely excited about his baby brother or sister...every time we mention something about the new baby, he grins ear to ear. He's going to be the best big brother! So, ready or not, we are now (at least soon to be) a party of four!